If you’re having lackluster orgasms (or no orgasms at all) you’re not alone. While the majority of men report satisfying orgasms during sex, that figure drops sharply for women. There are many reasons for this (like different arousal styles and stress), but nothing we can’t fix with a little bedroom TLC.
While women’s bodies can require a bit more “strategy” when it comes to climaxing, that extra time and effort spent honoring your body will be generously rewarded with an intensity you didn’t know you had.
Thankfully, there are several ways for women to have longer, more intense orgasms. Whether you’re getting intimate alone or with a partner, these five tips will help you go from okay to oh my! in the bedroom.
5 Ways for Women to Enjoy Longer, More Intense Orgasms
1. Build up to the wow factor.
Spontaneity can be sexy. But racing to the finish line isn’t. Rushed sex that’s focused only on reaching orgasm is unlikely to leave you shaking in your bedsheets.
Take it slow. A female orgasm happens when there is enough blood flow to the pelvis, increased muscular tension throughout the body, and the brain’s opiate system is switched on. When you allow these changes to happen naturally, and give the body time to build up higher levels of arousal, you can expect a bigger—and better—grand finale.
2. Try toys and lubes.
You know those explosive, mutually climactic scenes that are littered throughout movies, TV shows and erotic films? Yeah, that’s not reality.
Research shows that 75% of women do not reach orgasm through intercourse alone (and another 10% of women have never had an orgasm, period).
Your lack of O’s could have a range of possible causes, but it often comes down to anatomy. Women who have a longer distance from the clitoris to the vaginal opening are less likely to experience orgasm during penetration because the clitoris doesn’t get as much stimulation.
The good news is that you don’t need the help of a penis to achieve a screen-worthy orgasm. Whether you’re playing alone or with a partner, manually stimulating your clitoris with toys (or body parts) can make all the difference.
Lube helps too, as it increases sensitivity and pleasure all around.
From vibrators to dildos to clitoral suction cups, there’s no perfect toy or lube for everyone—shop around in the name of healthy sexual exploration, and experiment to find what you enjoy most.
3. Exercise your way to better orgasms.
It’s no surprise that getting fit leads to a better sex life. In case you’re not convinced, consider this: studies show that women who exercise regularly experience enhanced sexual satisfaction, sexual stamina and better moods.
Exercise also helps you embrace a positive body image and bedroom confidence, which makes it easier to release into orgasm when the time is right.
While general fitness can do the trick, a few exercises that can specifically turn up the volume on your orgasms include:
Upward facing dog pose
Happy baby pose
4. Hang your head over the bed.
This is an easy one. While on your back, hang your head over the edge of the bed. Some scientists believe that this sends extra blood flow to the brain, which heightens your sense of pleasure. It’s also a great distraction method when you feel too “in your head” to climax. Simple as that!
5. Track your cycle—and libido.
Feeling blah about sex? You could be having it at the wrong time of the month. Evolution primed our hormones to make us crave sexual ecstasy most when the timing is right to reproduce: ovulation.
During this time (about 2 weeks before your period is due), you will feel more attracted to your partner and more loving as oxytocin flows through your bloodstream. This alone could lead to better orgasms (including cervical orgasms, which are common around this time of the month).
In a more roundabout way, this ovulatory hormone cocktail also makes you feel more relaxed, intimate, and willing to spend time cuddling, caressing, and building your arousal for the big event.
Perhaps the best tip of all is to have fun. When your mind and body are relaxed, your body is naturally more primed to enjoy sex and have a mind-blowing, passionately vulnerable, and fully connected experience.Easier said than done, right? It doesn’t have to be. Fight the daily stress that sabotages your sex life with CBD tinctures and other stress relief habits. Release the pressure to “achieve” an orgasm and simply live in the moment while you’re in the sheets. The effect this mindset shift has on your sex life might surprise you!
Hannah Smith is Joy Organics Director of Communications. She is driven by her passion for providing clear and accessible wellness and CBD education. In 2015, she received her BA in Media, Culture and the Arts from The King’s College in New York City and before Joy Organics, worked as writer and photographer in the Middle East and North Africa. Her work has been featured on Forbes, Vice, Vox, Denver Post, and the Coloradoan.