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How to Support Your Sex Life during Menopause

How to Support Your Sex Life during Menopause


Are hot flashes the only thing steaming up your bedroom? You’re not alone. Over half of women experience a drop in their sex drive as they enter perimenopause and menopause. 

As your hormones fluctuate during “the change,” so can your libido. Along with dwindling sexual desire, other issues like vaginal dryness, tightness and pain also tend to kill the mood. 

Thankfully, menopause doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life. In fact, it could be the start of a new journey into self-discovery and more tuned-in intimacy. Try these self-care tips and exercises to boost your libido and embrace a healthy sex life through menopause. 

7 Ways to Support your Sex Life During Perimenopause and Menopause 

Set aside time.

This may sound a little counter-intuitive—doesn’t a rousing sex life start with spontaneity? Well, not always. And when life gets a little chaotic, intimacy can easily be put on the backburner. Blocking out some time every week for a little partner exploration can help revive things a little bit.

Find a lubricant you like.

Whether you experience menopausal vaginal dryness or not, a sexual lubricant can help stimulate arousal and pleasure. But don’t just pick up any lube you find at the drugstore. There are many different lubricants available that are designed for women in perimenopause and menopause. Shop around and try a few different types to see which ones make sex the most comfortable and enjoyable for you.

Experiment with audio erotica.

Move over, porn videos. Audio erotica (erotic short stories, audiobooks, podcasts, and erotic ASMR) is becoming a popular way for women to find pleasure. Some experts believe that erotic storytelling may be a more effective way for some women to get aroused, focusing on context and imagination rather than visual stimulation alone. Give it a try with apps like Dipsea or Literotica.

Practice Kegel exercises.

Kegel exercises are a simple way to enhance the strength of your pelvic floor muscles. They are best known for helping prevent urinary leaks and incontinence, but they can also help to boost libido. How? Exercising your pelvic muscles increases blood flow to your entire pelvic area, which improves lubrication and makes you feel more aroused. They also strengthen the pelvic muscles which can increase the likelihood of orgasms.

Set the mood.

Research shows that spending more time building up to sex can make the whole experience less painful and more satisfying. Like Kegel exercises, cuddling and foreplay stimulate blood flow to the pelvic area to increase vaginal moisture and elasticity. So, why not make the most of it? Set the mood with music, candles, or whatever makes you and your partner feel connected and linger in the moment. 

Create healthy habits.

Taking care of our health becomes even more important as we approach midlife. And sometimes, the physical changes that come with menopause can leave us feeling not as confident as we used to be. Doing small things like exercising a couple times a week can not only boost libido by increasing stamina, but also by improving our image of ourselves. We can’t prevent aging, but we can change the way we love ourselves in this new phase of life.


What’s the real secret to a long and happy sex life? Communication. Your low libido woes aren’t taboo. Communication is the cornerstone of intimacy in a healthy sexual relationship and gives both you and your partner a safe space to be open about how you feel.

If menopause teaches us anything, it’s to embrace the waves of change. While it may not always seem like it, the changes in your body during this transition can actually open doors to healthier communication and deeper levels of intimacy.

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